Do you lexiphi?

Blog Woman Laughing 1437687

*cue the groans!* here comes some lexiphication for those who like it punny!

  • To write with a broken pencil is…  pointless.
  • When fish are in schools they sometimes…  take debate.
  • A thief who stole a calendar…  got twelve months.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles…  U.C.L.A.
  • The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes…  was on shaky ground.
  • The batteries were given out… free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist married… They fought tooth and nail.
  • A will is a… dead giveaway.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist… you can get repossessed.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name… and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you… A-flat miner.
  • You are stuck with your debt if… you can’t budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia… The LAN down under.
  • A boiled egg is…  hard to beat.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping center… you’ve seen a mall.
  • Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was… resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • If you take a laptop computer for a run you could… jog your memory.
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone… it is two tired.
  • In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism…  it’s your Count that votes.
  • When a clock is hungry… it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine… was fully recovered.
  • He had a photographic memory… which was never developed.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be… exposed in the end.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair… she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture…  a jab well done.

This wonderful lexiphication comes from Sue H on the JustAPinch.com forums